and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
