So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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