accomplished twins. life is a go
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
