I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
