I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
