ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
