i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
