I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
