Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
