What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
