did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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