My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
too bad you live with your parents still
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
