dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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