Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
