What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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