this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize