that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
