Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
