Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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