For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
