I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
