Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize