so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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