Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
