what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
