I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
