My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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