Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
