my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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