I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize