it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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