I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
