Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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