You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
