i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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