im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My life is pants optional.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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