I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
