I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
