the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
