similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
