Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
