Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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