i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
