I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we're making bets on your personal life
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
