I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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