I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
