On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
