My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
