I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We have started to decorate penises.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
