I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
