they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
