I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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