Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
