Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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