everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
ttyl tear gas
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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