I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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