I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I could fuck to npr.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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