i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize