then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
