Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
