get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
