three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
