There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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