I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
