My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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