Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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