I wish I could teleport
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
