he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
